At nights like these the wind makes big waves

At night like these it already starts to look like autumn. It rains and they have given a storm warning in radio. People should be aware of floods that may occur because of heavy rain. My internet connection nor television works. There was a fire somewhere and nobody has connection right now in this part of city. I am writing this with Openoffice writer...maybe tomorrow putting it for you to read.

The summer never really got started and now it seems to end. I have not swam in the sea nor in a lake this summer. Once I was sun bathing at the beack thought. Looking at people white skinned trying to get the most out of the sun as quick as possible before it is too late. But few are the people in Finland who really get sun tan in summer. And those who do still have to use pullovers and long pants soon.

I like autumn; looking how the rain cryes against the windows, how the trees use their final effort to shine with many colors, how thousands of birds fly in the sky. But after that. It gets dark. The birds are gone. And even if Finland is located in the North parts of the planet, we don't have so much snow in Helsinki. It is quite desperate looking city in the late autumn and winter.

This summer has been different. I had my summer in Austria that last almost half a year. Here it was like in end of March in Salzburg. I have never been missing so many people at the same time. I miss people all around the world now. And it is not a cliche, I really do. And there is also some I miss here in Finland. Some which are not anymore part of my life like earlier: before last winter, or before me leaving away.

I am kind of standing in a place where I don't know where the road will lead. I have trust in my life even if sometimes I hope I could get all the answers now, or that situations in my life could be at the point of final solution. But maybe it would be boring. Wating is sometimes cool too. Trying to tell it for myself anyway ;) But so. Life is in front of me. The big things still unsolved. Like love.

It is interesting to realise that the more people I have got to know, the more I have learned about life and my own thoughts and emotions. Life is like the waves...going up and down...and even in the situations when it feels like nothing happens, maybe the wind still moves the still water forward. Everything changes all the time. But some things remain. Sometimes you learn to appreciate things when seeing them from more far away. But have you already drifted too far away to go back?

And. Sometimes you forget what you have at this moment. Trying to reach something you don't have so much that you really don't see how lucky you are right now.

I was talking with my brother about “big issues” yesterday. There was errors on my computer and when trying to find bugs in the computer hard drives, we talked about bugs in human soul. He is very much into christian gosbel.

Is there a meaning in our lives? Do we have a path we have to walk throw? Is there right or wrong things to choose? Can there be good impact of doing something not so well, wrong decisions?

For my opinion and back to the waves again. Maybe sometimes you may baddle back to the point where you left something that you did not appreciate before...and take better care of it.

I think learning in life, growing in love and our individual growth as a persons is anyway one meaning. And also by doing something wrong or messing up your life, there can be things finally succeeded and realised; things that you would not have seen if not going a hard way. But how do I know. My brother had some other views than me in some questions. And maybe there is no right answers. Or is there? Who knows...