Back to the Igluland

Sitting in the Munich airport...
I think that coming back to Finland will feel somehow strange.
When you travel away from a place where you have created your life from ciro point back to your homecountry, I assume everything will seem to be stayed as if was. But for me there has been so much things changing. In a way nothing really has changed...and in another so much. I didn't know anybody when I went to Austria and now I have made so much new good friends that it feels strange to leave them.

I dont know if it will feel like everything in Finland have moved from its place. It will be the same place again. For the others...for my friends there. But how can I descripe what has been going on in my life. I don't have anybody to share it with there. Except Hannele of course, or Sanni. But they are not living very near by me. There is the distance similar of Austria and Denmark between us.

Feeling of going home has been changing a little bit. When getting near by the end, I don't really know if I would have liked to go back. But everything in life seems to go in small phases. Something happens, it ends, something else happens...it ends, and so on. It is nice to see that there can be so joyful things coming to your life after periods of thinking it will just stay as same for ever. I mean I was working already and finished my studies. This Erasmus change came kind of out of the blue. It was one of the best times in my life. I really enjoyed it.

I also like the things I have learned about my self and about life in general during the trip. They are not so huge things but anyway precious. For example it is very nice thing to know, that where ever you go, you are always going to find nice people. You can go and start living in different places and there will always be people who will be marvelous.
The flight leaves in 40 minutes. I sit next to Hannele and we are both writing with our laptops. I know I will really miss some people I got to know.
In Salzburg I lived with all of my senses. Enjoyed the country, the nature, the people, the studies, all of it together. What is there for me, when I go back to Finland?

I feel tired now, because of not sleeping very well in many nights before. There has been parties, packing, sitting and talking with friends at the last nights. Cleaning. Lots of cleaning!! The cleaning system really sucks. I have been cleaning like a neurotic maniac because I heard they are absolutely strict with the cleaning policy and will take money from your deposit if they find anything to complain in your room. Two days ago I saw a guy who actually painted his room all over again because of the final check. But I think they might take money from you anyway...they just take the money what ever you do...I took some photos to prove them wrong if they complain. Never in my life I have been cleaning that much.

I will miss some people more then others. Some of those who I got to know better. I think everybody was nice thought. And oh, I will miss VEEEEE. The buddy of mine...

And what next...the flight. To Igluland. To the country of us...Finns. Of five million. It is funny how in abroad your nationality really somehow defines you. The first thing usually asked after the name is your nationality. And what do I think about my country when looking it from far away...from a distance. I hate the weather. I really do and realised it even better here. After having summer like half a year, it makes you think why should I stay in a country where most of the year I am working in darkness. Going to work when it is dark and coming home when it is dark again. Winter of eight months. A quick spring and even quicker summer and fall there somewhere going by.

I dont know but I felt at home in Salzburg. Even if I missed some people in Finland and wouldn't like to move abroad alone.

But I think...this was not my last longer period in another country. I have just started.
The flight should leave in 15 minutes. The boarding has begun behind the place I am sitting. There is the Finnair-airplane and now a man taking a final picture of me and Hannele...and now I am closing the computer...

Its 23:32 Austrias time...00:32 Finnish time. I should change the time in my computer. It still feels weird. I don't get it. I am here. To stay. This probably sounds emotional. And in a way it is. But I didn't quess that this time away from Finland would feel so long when coming back. Because in a way it went so fast. But anyway...I don't know where I am. Because my heart and mind is somewhere there...


In the airplane they had this Finnish music on for middle aged people. They played Eurovision song contest song from 60's and 70's, and very hmm...not so trendy artists that like Katri Helena, the song Tipi-tii, Jari Sillanpää and also one Abba's song. One song had words translated directly: “You are my slippery playboy”...For me the songs were too much and I borrowed Hannele's mp3-player.

When I came to Vantaa it felt a bit lame. Even if I tried the effect of wine in the airplane :D Hannele said that in the air it has triple effect compared that in the ground. They had this white wine in the Finnair plane. But it tasted bad. And Finnish beer is also bad. I was complaining in the plain about beer...even if I hardly drank any beer in Austria. Maybe four times one glass... But still, I had to complain because feeling pissed off :D

And when I was looking from the windows when the plane was arriving to Helsinki-Vantaa I wondered the Finnish culture. The houses at the countryside are in the middle of woods and fields. Far away from neighbours. Like total contrast to the Middle-European village culture where you really want to say good morning to your neighbours and not to have a distance likea kilometer with every “strange person” who is not belonging to your family...

I came to my parent's place and to the place I have been living the most of my life before moving to Helsinki. It is very near by the city, but already at countryside.

What else. Yes...I needed to take a long walk at the night when I came. I wondered that it would help me to realise that a new phase in my life has begun and one just ended. But still I don't really get it that I am here, like I said. It doesn't feel like “oh, nice, I feel so at home”. It feels like. I don't know. Like looking everything from outside. Reading a book where you are the character yourself. Like oh, there she is.

I was walking at the middle of the road. And during an hour I saw two cars. For Hannele there is also some pics. She doesn't seem to get it that the area of capital also has fields and countryside. And she need's to for a special reason, which she knows ;) I think that in Finland there is actually so little people that there is countryside almost everywhere. It's one big forest. :D

I realised again like also earlier when coming from somewhere located more south, that the trees are smaller here. And so is my bank account, but my rent is bigger. Schseisse. :D
But when I was walking I also realised something. You can't really say when something ends. And actually nothing in life does. For example the exchange in Austria kind of “never” ends. The effect it made stays and redefines me and the way I look at things.
In that way, it is there. Also after you are not there anymore...